My nerves were on edge, with all I had heard about the movie, so when the lights finally dimmed and the movie started, my stomach did a small leap. The movie started and slowly my nerves settled. Then as the story progressed, my heart ached, my pulse raced, and the sorrow of terrible responsibility overcame me and I wept. It was at times a horrific play that unfolded in front of my eyes like no passage I had ever read before. At times I couldn't bear to watch, yet I forced myself to continue to witness the ultimate result of MY actions.
After the tears had subsided, and the numbness had wore off, I felt a great appreciation of the sacrafice that had been paid for me. A sobering reminder of the grace and love expressed through ultimate action. I had for so long took for granted the grace and forgiveness of my Saviour. I had flippiantly dismissed my sins as forgiven and forgot in such a manner as one tosses a used piece of paper. Now, after seeing such a true-to-life protryal of the real suffering and violent beating of my Saviour and King, I can no longer take any of these for granted, I can no longer look at my intentional rebellion as just that of a failure that can be explained away as "I'm only human". For even the "least" of sins, as man puts it, must be released and paid for through His suffering. even the smallest "white lie" that "doesn't hurt anyone", my Saviour had to die for. Before, I would dismiss it with a casual prayer of forgiveness. Now, I see my responsibility in nailing Him and beating Him, just because I selfishly want my way. What a fool I have been.
But I can't stop there, though. I can't stop with just the conviction. I have to talk of the incredible sense of unworthyness I feel at the price He so lovingly gave to me. I ask, even now today, after being a Christian for most of my life, "why?", why would He endure something so horrific for me? How can He see me as worthy of this incredible gift? The gift of freedom. Freedom to fail, freedom to succeed, freedom to love, and so much more. Meaning has changed for me in may areas. Worship is soo much more now. My daily reading means so much more in my persuit to really get to know my Lord. I look at my friends and business associates in a new light. I find myself offering silent prayers for people who I despised before, those "less desireable" individuals that I know Christ paid the price for as well. I find myself close to tears at the thought and memory of the visions that were displayed in the movie depicting the truth behind the suffering.
I tell anyone who asks about the movie that I have but one word to describe it and the experience I had in watching - "Overwhelming!" It's been over a week since I saw the film and still I have a hard time in holding myself together. My eyes still become watery, my stomach tightens and I feel an overwhelming sense of awe. The feelings and experience are such that, as I had said to one of the friends that attended with me, I hope and pray I never get over it. I hope and pray I never become numb to the reality of what took place such a long time ago. I hope and pray that at no point do I ever again take for granted the event that split time and chaged all mankind forever.
If you are reading this and have not done it already, please go and see The Passion of the Christ. It will change your world forever, for the better. You will be moved and inspired. If you are a Christian, show your support by going and seeing this movie. For more information, click on the title of the movie above or see the information below.
The Passion of the Christ - A film by Mel Gibson