When my wife is gone visiting family or something, I really have a hard time. I miss her something fierce. After 14 years people have said that our "romance" should have subsided and that we should be "old hat" at being around each other. I am sorry, but every time I get around her I feel like I am back in high school with some kind of crush that I feel all awkward and the adrenalin rush is addictive. We have done nothing but grown closer the longer we have been together. It's strange because we have noticed that the "trend" is just the opposite. It seems that people expect a couple to grow apart as they spend more time with each other. It's also apparent that people almost resent the fact that we don't subscribe to that thought. We've had couples tell us about how close they have been to divorce, we haven't. There have been times when both of us have thought about leaving, but we agreed a long time ago that it wasn't an option, no matter what life may bring. We love each other more and more every day. She is so much a part of me I don't know what I would do without her. I pray that I can always be what she needs, even though I know I will be unable to be it always. I also pray that we will remain best friends forever. I think that's the real key. The term wife and husband have been so watered down that people forget that being married means you are each other's best friend, forever. You think of the other person first, do what's best, even when it's not the most pleasant thing to do, and commit to love them, which is a commitment, for all your life. People look at this as a burden. WHY!? It's not a burden to be with one person for the rest of your life, it's a great blessing! It's wonderful. It's magical! People lose the desire and energy to work at it. There's another key - work!
Without work, there are no results. Guys, love your wives, as much as you love yourselves. When you think of all the wonderful things you would love to have, do, see, etc. Start making an effort to work with the same effort you used to figure those out, and find out what your wife wants to have, see, do, etc. You do that and she will love and respect you forever! Wives do the same. Respect your husbands. If you respect your husbands, they will love you.
I know, I know, then you start thinking, but if I completely concentrate on the other person, who takes care of me? You don't get it do you? If BOTH of you are doing this, then EVERYONE is taken care of, everyone has fulfillment, everyone is as happy and loved as they need to be. It's not ever going to be perfect, but then only one person has ever been perfect. Just recognize that you're not perfect, they are not perfect, which means you can be imperfect together - perfectly! Help each other grow. That doesn't mean criticize each other or point out all the problems in the other person on a regular basis. That means build each other up. Think of what you need, the other person may need it too. Feel free to ask each other for help in areas of your life you want to work on. Learn to trust each other enough to be honest about your own problems, failures and lack of perfection. You get to the point where you can honestly tell each other ANYTHING, and you will have an amazingly strong marriage that will last a lifetime. It's hard to trust when the "problem" you have might or will hurt the other person to know about. That's the tough stuff. But if you both agree that the goal is to push through, grow together, and conquer whatever problem may come up, then you have already won the first battle, now it's time to wage war on imperfection.
Now the bottom line as far as I am concerned. Without a relationship centered on Christ, you will have problems all your lives. As my wife and I grow closer to Christ, we grow closer to each other. It's a fact that those who pray together, stay together. I love my wife with all my heart. She is my companion, best friend, lover, buddy, at times my partner in "crime" - LOL! and overall she is a wonderful part of my life that I couldn't live without. She makes me proud. I am proud to be her husband and when she looks at me and smiles, it melts my heart. My goal is to always feel that way, always love her, and always direct our relationship with Christ as the ultimate goal. I know we will do well. It will be hard at times, like it has been in the past. Endurance and will play a big part of it. Grace is another key issue that has kept us going. Without grace we would have ended our relationship a long time ago. Grace saved me and my wife, it's saved our marriage as well.
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